Setting boundaries in your relationships.
Not being “perfect.”
Investing in your own personal growth.
Distancing yourself from people who don’t support you living your best life.
Having a Legend of Korra themed party at your apartment and if someone shows up not in costume then kicking their fat ass out because they have no business being there.
Farting in public. We all do it. What’s the big deal? I had a croissantwich for breakfast and my tummy said whoopsie. Get over it. Yeah, it smells. That’s what farts do. They smell. Are we just supposed to shield ourselves and our children from the real world? Coddle them and let them believe that it’s not stinky as hell out there? Yeah, right. I want my kids to experience the full spectrum of what this world has to offer. Scents can be beautiful and awful and wonderful and gross and they can linger and people in your office can post notes by the printer and in the restroom asking the person to please stop especially when clients are in the building, but hey, that’s life. That’s real. I for one am not raising my family in fear.
Okay, I hate to dwell on this but like - it was a THEMED COSTUME PARTY. I said it in the group text. It only works if everyone dresses up or else the whole vibe is weird. Bridget is such a bitch.
Missing your daughter’s ballet recitals. Shit’s so boring and you’ve got better things to do. Shouldn’t buying the goddamn slippers be enough? You’ve got to take MORE time off work to go see a bunch of piss panty kindergartners wander around stage all confused? It’s fine. She doesn’t even realize you’re not there until your fucking ex-wife brings it up. She’s turning your kids against you and it’s sad to see. Somebody should do something.
Not bringing anything to our parties. We don’t expect you to bring a bottle of wine or anything. We know that you’re sober now and working the steps and we know that it may be difficult just being around that stuff, much less going into a store and buying it. Richard has started stocking LaCroix in the mini fridge so that you have something when you come over. As long as you’re in costume, we really don’t give a fuck.
Not responding immediately to texts or calls. We’re all busy. Sometimes we’re at capacity and can’t hold the proper space for others right away. It’s okay to take some time and reach back out when you can. You could even be like Bridget and not even RSVP at all and then show up empty-handed and not in costume. Fucking cunt. If you see her, tell her I’m mad at her.
